So here’s the deal.  I’m realistic.  I am not going to pledge to blog daily, or even weekly.  I’m not going to pledge to lose weight.  I’m not going to pledge to be a nicer person, etc.  Here’s my goal… well, first a little background story.

Back in 1998, I started university.  For the first time ever, I learned that there were present-day people who felt that there was injustice in the world.  And I actually took up political science and public policy as a course of study to understand how power is shared (or hoarded) in this world.  In the many years (and paths) of study, I have reached one conclusion: the spreading of power (empowerment) is the most effective one of increasing the overall quality of life.

And then, in 2011, folks called out the distribution of wealth in the United States.  Occupy Wall Street, Occupy Seattle, Occupy city of your choice.  But it called into question how wealth… and subsequently, power… are distributed in the USA.  ”We are the 99%” is definitely where my heart lies, where my mindset lies.  But as I gather stuff to file my tax return for the year, yikes… we’re looking a heck of a lot closer to that 1%.  So what does that mean?

That means… I’ve got power.  And I owe it to my 99% upbringing to not be afraid to use it.

So my goal for 2012… speak my beliefs.  In ways that matter.  In how I spend my time.  And in how I spend my money.  This is a tough one.  It might mean breaking up my love affair with Amazon.com, but their impact on small businesses… and the questionable treatment of workers… make it a hard one to justify.  It might mean cringing at the cost of my groceries and clothes.  But really, if I don’t take the convenient route, if I pay a price that VALUES the efforts of the workers, I don’t need as MUCH stuff.  Less, with quality.  Less, with care about how it makes it through my doorstep.  That’s my commitment for 2012 and the future.

And if the commitment starts to wane, I’m sure election year debates will help remind me why it’s so important.

“The Things They Carried” shares insights into the Vietnam experience. In one story, a returned vet imagines sharing the stories he carried back from the war. I think of the times my father watched a war film, or saw the POW/MIA flag, or shared a war story, or saw a trigger photo of Jane Fonda, or one of his other connections to the war. The stories would start to eek out, not to an audience. My brother and I disappeared in those moments. The memories just came. They had a life of their own. They crept through the world, tangling, intertwining. They faded quietly into a corner. Sometimes they hung like a full moon above a still lake, reflecting like a mirror.

Stories.
Today I finished reading Markus Zusak’s “The Book Thief.” The stories. The words. The power they hold… to create, to destroy, to inspire, to share, to stretch, to remember, to breathe life, to sustain.

I am inspired to try my hand at writing again. Yet the beauty of my recent reads makes me feel so unworthy of the task.
But stories, everyone’s stories, are like the child I still hold growing inside of me… stretching his limbs, twisting and wiggling, waiting for the time to enter the world.

As baby’s arrival comes closer, I find myself worrying about typical parent stuff: will he be healthy? happy? how will this change the dynamic of the rest of the family? what will he be when he grows up? But, wow, compared to Mary, I have it easy.

From the annunciation… hey, Mary, guess what? You get to be the surrogate mother of the son of God. No pressure there.

Did Mary worry about whether the goat cheese she ate at 3 months pregnant was fully pasteurized? Or was there some comfort that carrying the child of God would guarantee you a smooth pregnancy?

When Jesus was born, did she make the decision to circumsize or not based on cultural traditions, the popular trend, or wanting the baby boy to be just like his Father?

Did she wonder and worry about the attention given to him by strange visitors, old men bearing gifts? Would that make you think even harder about the decision for the right age to let him use the men’s public restroom alone?

When Jesus was six years old and broke the neighbors’ wine vase, did she worry about Jesus learning responsibility for his mistakes as he tried to argue, “But mom, I just refilled all their other wine vases using my divine powers, so it’s no sweat?”

Is there a parent out there that doesn’t worry about the choices they make and how they impact their kiddo, regardless of who she, or her child, happens to be?

1. A husband who does laundry…
2. And dishes…
3. And thinks I’m beautiful even when I am waddling around in my pajamas
4. My firstborn son who is eager to help out
5. And is healthy
6. And thoughtful
7. My second-born son who is ever empathetic
8. And eager to make you smile
9. And healthy
10. My soon-to-be-born third son who wiggles and kicks
11. A warm, cozy house – especially with the snow and cold we had this week
12. Decorations on my Christmas tree… put up by aforementioned helpful husband and sons
13. A comfy glider chair from a dear friend to rock in while supervising decorating
14. Leftover ziti from Thanksgiving with another dear friend who cooked a separate dish just for me
15. Same friends hostessing a baby shower for baby-to-be offering a chance to reconnect with friends
16. A snowy Thanksgiving
17. Snow days which gave us nearly a full week of family time
18. Wrapped and purchased holiday presents
19. A bag of craft goodies to work on this week with the boys
20. A toasty kitchen from the turkey we roasted today
21. The fact that turkey is not a carbohydrate
22. Holiday music
23. Boys’ homework being almost done
24. Without tears, fuss, or grumbling
25. Free time
26. Comfy maternity jeans
27. A car with all-wheel drive
28. Health insurance
29. My sons’ wonderful teachers
30. The internet that helps us stay connected with family (and friends) far away

And so much more…

My oldest is ten. He’s a ten year old boy that takes after his father… a more serious, almost melancholy personality. He’s the type that many get along with because he’s a pretty easy-going sort of kid, but few get to really know deeply and to understand. We have our ups and downs a lot lately. There are days when I feel like for every positive interaction, we have two negative ones about responsibility, homework, forgetfulness, moodiness. And especially with the new baby coming, I wonder if he realizes that even in those nagging moments, I do what I do with him and for him because I love him so. So this is for him.

Dear Eins,

If I know you as well as I think I do, I bet you are getting a bit nervous as it gets closer to baby’s arrival date. You are so full of love, and such a caring young man, that I am sure you will welcome your new baby brother and be a terrific older brother, just as you are to Zwei. But, I know that changes and uncertainty aren’t your favorite thing. I understand that this year has already been full of changes: a new classroom, new homework load, less time to just relax. That’s affecting our relationship a bit because Mommy (now Mom to you) has taken on the role of taskmaster. And I bet that a part of your mind is wondering how Mom and Vati’s love for you is affected by all of this: new responsibilities, new relationships, and new siblings.

I hope that the little things we do help to convey the message: Mom and Vati love you and are so proud of you for the young man that you are. We tell you this with little extra outings, by trusting you to stay home alone for bits of time, and oddly enough, by the little chores and responsibilities that we expect you to handle on your own. We ask you to do them because we know you are capable, and we trust the quality of your work.

But I know that little things aren’t always enough. I know that it can be hard, especially because your brother is the type that seems to attract attention like pollen attracts bees. You hear him getting praised for his effort on things like his writing, and you may wonder why he gets praised for effort so much even when the product doesn’t look as polished as yours would. I think you have been fortunate in some ways that things tend to come easy for you… school, orchestra, etc. But at the same time, I think it makes it challenging. You can put in less effort and get good quality… and I think then Mom and Vati comment positively on the quality and encourage more effort. This can leave you thinking that we aren’t happy with the work you do. But we are proud of all that you accomplish. And more importantly, we are proud of you not because of what you ACCOMPLISH, but because of WHO YOU ARE.

We are proud of you because you are a thoughtful young man. You are curious. You think things through. You are respectful of others. You are helpful and kind. And you are our son. You are growing and learning, and even when you make mistakes, have bad moods or bad days, or make bad choices, guess what? We still love you and are proud of you. Because we know that you are growing and learning. We all make mistakes and have bad days as we grow, but we continue to work and learn from them.

I will admit, especially as you approach the teenage years, there are times when your moods can be difficult to be around. (Although I’m sure I have moods that are difficult to be around, too.) But you know what, these are exactly the moments when Mommy is loving you a bit more. Because those are the times when you need it more. You are such a thoughtful kid that I am sure you recognize when you are having a bad day or are in a foul mood. And I know that you are hard on yourself about the mistakes you make (often more hard on yourself than you need to be). And that’s when Mommy reaches a little deeper into my heart to find some extra love to share. The years you face ahead… teenage years… can be tough ones. You take on more responsibilities. You try to figure out friendship and later romance. You try new things. You try to be more independent. You are taking more risks and facing new challenges. And oftentimes, the results aren’t always what you expect and hope for. But that’s part of the ups and downs of life, the bumps that help us learn. I want you to know that those are the times when Mom and Vati are loving you a little more and here to support you. It’s not just to celebrate your successes and victories (though we are gladly there for those, too), but we are here for those rough moments.

When you might feel like loving yourself a little less because you feel disappointed or frustrated, that is when Mom and Vati are there to fill you up again with the love from our hearts.

I hope that reading these words helps, and most importantly, I hope that you can always feel this love and pride that we hold for you.

Love,
Mommy (aka “Mom”)

GLAAD organized today as Spirit Day, a day to rally together to support lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transsexual teens in dealing with the pressures they face just because of who they are.

So why purple?

1. As GLAAD explains, purple is the “spirit” from the rainbow pride flag.
2. Thanks to Jerry Falwell, purple is a color to represent the ridiculousness of fear. Purple is the color of Tinky Winky, the “gay” Teletubby that Falwell denounced as a corrupting influence on young children.
3. Purple, as a color in nature, is more rare than say green or red or yellow or orange. Yet it is still natural. And beautiful.
4. Purple isn’t as common of a color to be worn by grown-ups, so if you see someone wearing it today, it’s probably a conscious effort to say, “We support you.”
5. Wearing purple takes away some of the power of gender stereotypes… pink and purple seen as “girl” colors or associated with being “effeminate.” It opens up a full spectrum to everyone.
6. Purple takes some power away from the bully-ers. You are one person with hurtful things to say. We are a powerful group standing together to send a message… it’s 2010 and intolerance and hatred are NOT okay.
7. Purple can be a color of mourning. Purple shrouds on coffins, or in a church during Lent. And we do mourn those who have died because of hatred and intolerance. Bullying and violence against someone because of his or her sexual identity is wrong.
8. Purple sends a message to those struggling with their identity that you are loved and accepted.
9. Wearing purple on spirit day shows just how many people embrace the idea that your sexual identity is a natural part of you and shouldn’t be repressed, silenced, tortured and tormented.
10. Joining together to wear purple says enough is enough. No more lives should be destroyed by hate.

Hey, kiddo.

Parents are full of hopes and dreams for their children. We want you to be healthy, happy, successful. We want to guarantee that you’ll never want for anything, never suffer, etc. But that’s not how life goes. Ups and downs, making choices… and making mistakes… that’s how we grow.

So we want you to have tools. The values we work to instill fill your toolbox so that when you face a challenge, even if all else seems lost, you have those values to call upon.

We want you to value the pursuit of knowledge — observing, questioning, reasoning, and making your own sense of the world rather than relying on others to dictate what’s right and what’s wrong.

We want you to know compassion. We are all human beings, deserving of kindness and humane treatment and respect, whether we have reached a sad state through misfortune or through mistakes of our own doing. We want you to be willing to offer compassion, and we hope that it will find you when you need it.

We want you to value perseverance. Life won’t always be easy. You need to have a drive to help you overcome obstacles and keep moving forward. It means you set goals, you make plans, and you keep working and adjusting to reach them.

Mommy and Vati believe that finding your own truths, making your own happiness, and accepting yourself (and others) as you/they are will lead to a happy, fulfilling life for you. We hope to share these values with you by modeling them in our own lives, by discussing the choices we make… and why these choices need not be yours. You are, young man, always our baby, but most importantly, who you become belongs to you.

Love, Mommy

Since I threw out the accountability word the other day, I got to wondering… does the work and support provided to a school by the PTA allow school systems to be LESS accountable for the quality of educational experience they provide?

Let’s imagine an office. Memo goes out:
Thank you, staff! Your participation in the Entertainment Book fundraiser allowed us to purchase a brand new laminator for the office. As you know, the old one was over a decade old… and that showed in the quality of the lamination. Congratulations to Cheryl Kelley, our top seller. For her outstanding sales, she won a $15 gift card donated by the local pizza store. Let’s think of Cheryl when we enjoy our new laminator!

Or…
“Due to budget cutbacks, we need each of you to bring in one ream of paper for our office supply.”

Sounds pretty silly, doesn’t it? But that is essentially how schools operate. Supplies that seem basic and essential to the education of children are harder to come by, and often, schools are turning to parents to cover these needs. A lot of this work is covered by PTA’s and parent volunteers.

Don’t get me wrong. I think parent volunteers are wonderful, and the message it sends to children about involvement and interest and value of education is tremendous. PTA’s also provide enrichment and parent education and other supplementary services. However, it makes me wonder that PTA’s are covering things like office equipment, library books, bandages for the health room, and manpower like staffing for health rooms and safe arrival lines, administrative support for things like photocopying, etc. Would a business survive on volunteer services? Why do we expect our schools to do so?

PTA’s operate with volunteers giving their time, energy, talents, and cash. Many PTA’s manage budgets of over 100K per year; some closer to 400K annually. Are we letting state budgets, federal budgets, and school districts off the hook with these bailouts? The federal government gave huge bailouts to private businesses… what about the public schools?

“Getting to standard”
“Raising the standards”
“Students able to state the learning standard”
“Teachers identifying appropriate learning standards for each lesson”
“Below standard”
“Standardized testing”
“Approaching standard”

What’s standard? Dictionary.com offers us a long list of meanings, including:

stand·ard   
[stan-derd] Show IPA
–noun
1. something considered by an authority or by general consent as a basis of comparison; an approved model.
2. an object that is regarded as the usual or most common size or form of its kind: We stock the deluxe models as well as the standards.
3. a rule or principle that is used as a basis for judgment: They tried to establish standards for a new philosophical approach.
4. an average or normal requirement, quality, quantity, level, grade, etc.: His work this week hasn’t been up to his usual standard.
5. standards, those morals, ethics, habits, etc., established by authority, custom, or an individual as acceptable: He tried to live up to his father’s standards.
6. a grade of beef immediately below good.

Okay, definition one, an approved model for comparing. That doesn’t sound too bad. After all, we need standards to set accountability, right? And it’s all about accountability? (I think I feel another blog entry coming on.) Definition three, rule for basing judgment. We want to be able to say what works and what doesn’t, so that sounds reasonable enough. Definition four, an average or normal requirement… so we want all kids in our district to be at or beyond ‘average or normal.’ I, too, want to be beyond normal.

Now we are getting trickier. Defintion five. “Standards, those morals, ethics, habits, etc., established by authority, custom, or an individual as acceptable.” Uh oh. We added morals and ethics into things. And we have an authority telling us what those are. Let’s just skip this one. This could turn ugly.

Definition six… perhaps my personal favorite in the educational context. “A grade of beef immediately below good.” Sounds like school lunches, right? Really though… standard for meat is just below good. Not bad, but definitely not where you’d think you would want to aim your goals and mission statements.

And the one I skipped, definition two. “An object that is regarded as the usual or most common size or form of its kind: We stock the deluxe models as well as the standards.” Sounds very factory based. We aim for product satisfaction for all budgets. If you are on a tight budget, don’t worry, we carry the standard model for you. It is common, but functional. No bells or whistles on this model, but it can get you places. But if you really are looking for something nice, let me take you into the plush carpeted section of the showroom and introduce you to our deluxe models. Now these ones have all sorts of special features, more customized to your styles, higher quality… but these are going to cost you.

What do we want out of education? What will we achieve if we adopt national standards? What do our state standards do for us? I know “standards” is just a word. It could be “learning targets,” “common objectives,” “expectations.” But we pick, “standards.”

Why do I worry so about that word? Standard.

Because, to me, I have a hard time seeing how standardized education aspires to create the talented scientists, writers, businessmen, artists, mathematicians, zoologists, poets, etc. that our society has used to grow and thrive.

I know, public education only guarantees students a “basic” education as the current language and funding stands now. But is “basic” the best that we can do? Is “basic” what we want from our future doctors, teachers, politicians, farmers, environmentalists, engineers, etc.? I dunno. I have been reading the news more lately. I think we have some challenges ahead of us that seem more than just “basic” problems. Will our standards shape children ready for those challenges?

My realization… I want to figure out a plan for public education in America that actually takes into account American 21st century values.

Our public education system, as I’ve heard over and over again in my teaching classes, was born to support industrialization. We need good line workers. Hardworking, literate enough to be safe and to cast a vote, and good at following directions and working on a task with consistent quality. We’ve talked about the changing needs plenty of times… the space race, the great car wars in the 80s (you know, it brought us the movie Gung Ho! with Michael Keaton), the new internet revolution. But in all of our school reform efforts, have we REALLY changed what we value about public education and how the system, yes, the entire system, represents (or refutes) those values.

So, for starters… what are our values? This is where the infant parenting class comes in. It triggered my epiphany. We wrote this week about our family values. We shared them. There was a LOT in common, and some differences. And a LOT of the common values… still followed varied paths to reach the same goal.

So what? Right?

What are our American values?
I’d like to believe that the idea of opportunity for ALL is still key. We also embrace our diversity… or try to… the salad rather than the melting pot. We want active citizens. We want to remain a top producing, competitive, world-leader type nation.

But, it seems that we often find it hard to agree on much else. How do we prepare kids for this type of world? What do we need to offer children and what educational standards should we have to get there? How do we ensure quality of education when our VALUES about what make for a QUALITY education differ so dramatically?

Quality… does this mean lots of homework? No homework? Arts and music and foreign language? Math and science and literacy? Is there room for both? Direct instruction? Hands on cooperative learning? And then within each subject matter, the debates rage… even among educators… about what effective curriculum looks like. Research seems to be available to support just about anything. How does this happen?

Maybe, just maybe, one size doesn’t fit all. Maybe our quirky brain pathways don’t all work the same way. Maybe the perfect teacher or best learning environment for one kiddo is a nightmare for another.

We now have a lot of educational standards. State standards. District power standards. New federal standards.
And the trend is to standardize curriculum… everyone in the district uses book x, teaching style y to be highly effective. But a district doesn’t enroll just book x, style y kids. It doesn’t have involvement from just book x, style y families. So there’s still a number of folks dissatisfied. And even worse, there are still a number of children who aren’t learning.

What do we do? How do we, as a nation, set up and support a system that prepares kids… offers opportunities to ALL kids… to succeed in our increasingly technological, increasingly global community? And how do we ensure that the system honors the diversity and the differentness that make us American?

And then… how do we sell the idea of dramatic change to a system that is inherently pretty conservative (think Edmund Burke, not necessarily Rush Limbaugh)?

And if I manage to come up with a plan for a workable alternative to our present system, do I get to pick from the prize box?